Realization

I AM GETTING MARRIED IN 20 DAYS !!!!  I am hit with this realization.  Hit hard.  I can not believe I will be sharing my life with someone...my WHOLE life.  I am hoping that soon I can call myself mother as well as wife.  I want to raise a family...with our own troubles, our own joys.  I hope one day my son or daughter may sit at a computer (or with a tablet in hand) and write their thoughts about their significant other.  About their family.  I feel so...well...nervous, scared, excited, overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with good things...love, joy, happiness.  Somedays I don't know how to deal with it.  Other days I just soak it up like a sponge.

A happy moment.  Just a small part of MY joy.

My advice to you...Let realization hit you...don't stop it or ignore it.  When the truth of your life hits you (ugly or beautiful)...You can finally deal with it and get to a happier place or soak up the moments of happiness you are given.

Please take a moment to let the beautiful disaster of life hit you like a Mack truck.

Love to all in this holiday season.

Redemption...possible?

I sit here on my couch...computer on my lap...the man I love on the phone with me...talking and writing about one of my brothers...this is not the brother in the previous post.  This is a brother I am also thankful for, however, he has caused a lot of trial in my family.  My brother is currently in prison until May (this time)....You see a few years ago he got himself into a lot of the wrong kind of trouble.  He doesn't seem to grasp how much my family wants to be there to help him and make life a good place for him.  He won't open his heart to God and only wants to hang out and party with his buddies and sleep with whatever girl will have him.  He has two children (one of which he has only seen pictures of) and can't seem to straighten himself out even for them.  They are a beautiful little girl that looks exactly like my mother and a sweet little boy that looks just like him.  In my work I have seen a lot of strong wonderful women lose their babies...on the flip side, I have seen mothers who are crack addicted, and cannot take care of the many children they already have, give birth to healthy babies.  Why does God have to deal those undeserving a bad hand?  My brother truly is a good man.  He would stick up for anyone he cares about.  Be there if a loved one needs him.  Not to mention I have a family full of wonderful Christian people who are heartbroken over the things he has done.  The point of this (now that I have a face stained with tears) is to give any of you hope.  No matter what trial comes your way...no matter what your child or loved one has done...No matter what YOU have done.  The things you have done are not who you are and the things your family has done are no reflection on you.

My brother.  My heartbreak... and my teacher.  He has taught me a lot through his mistakes. 

Me.  A symbol of hope to those who think redemption isn't possible.  I shudder to think of what I would have become without finding God.  Without learning my lessons and taking them with me.  Mistakes are made...but with a little forgiveness, a little time, and a who love of redeeming love.  Redemption is truly possible.  Please pray the man in the picture above me will soon be the same picture I am.  Full of life, courage, and God's love.

My deepest love to all

Thanks

Tomorrow is a day of thanks.  A day to reflect on everything (or person ) you have that you are grateful for.  I have so many things in my life to celebrate.   This blog, however, only shows a few of them.

My AMAZING DADDY !!  He has always been there for me, no matter what I did.

My big brother.  He is my big me.  Always an ear for me to vent to.

My goofy mommy.  She is always there to make me laugh.

My Love and our furry baby.  They have changed my whole world for the better. 

I encourage you to think hard this holiday season about what YOU are thankful for.  In these times we live in there are so many troubles...financial, emotional, physical,...whatever.  There is always something to be grateful for.  Maybe your spouse, your job, your parents, friends ( I know I have one friend I am particularly thankful for) make your life worth living.  Maybe it is just your health.  If you throw all the bad things in God's direction...all these good will come to light.  Do me a favor...Cherish your loved ones, your life, and your God.  You will find a peace like no other. 

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day tomorrow.

Love Much

Heart !!

Have you ever completely given your heart to someone?  I mean chosen to trust them with your emotions, your love, your life, your well being, but most of all...your spiritual life?  I want to write this to help you be more wary who you say you love.  When I fell in love I did so with the knowledge that the emotion of love is fleeting...the action of love... should be unconditional and everlasting. 

This is MY picture of love.  Though I know years from now I may not feel the same emotions I do now...I still choose to stand by this man and trust him with the heart I have given to him.  I have moments when I want to run screaming (or just hit him over the head with something) but I know that he will turn around and do something that makes me laugh like crazy.  I know my marriage will not be easy.  I still, however, choose to love (not to be mistaken with being IN love) this man with all the love God has given to me.  For as long as I live.  Please...if you think you love someone...think for a while...would you always take care of them, stand by them, trust them with you life, your children, your home?  If you know the answer to these is yes beyond a shadow of a doubt...then let your heart into the mix.  Let the emotion of love wash over you.

Don't marry for the emotion of love though (or money or sex for that matter)...marry for true unconditional act of love.  Make it last a lifetime.

This is my word from the not so wise.  Hope you take it to heart.

Love to all,

Amanda

Mask

You ever wonder if that stranger with the smile is real...or if the smile is just for show?  I have a lot of examples of putting on a show to give to you but I will just give you a few.

I was so wet, tired, and miserable at Kings Island in this picture but the smile on my face says I am just peachy.

This picture is a happy couple.  You wouldn't know that 2 minutes before there was an arguement.

This is a pretty picture.  No one who looked at it would really know that I was crying.  It just turned out well...a fake.

The point of this post is to trust in God to get you through your life...no matter how many bad moments you capture.  No matter how many smiles you put on your face.  God will get you through.  Remember the next time that you pass that crazy driver,  hear those screaming kids in the supermarket, or see someone smile at you.  You never know what is happening in the lives of those strangers.  Pray to God to help them as well as those you love AND yourself.  Next time you face heartache...don't put on that smile.  Let those around you know you thoughts and feelings.  Trust me...more will care to hear them than not.

Love and kisses (and a few prayers too)

Amanda