Why?

Ok....I know I haven't posted anything in a bit....my apologies. I have tried to do some much needed soul searching these last few days and....not working. Have you ever thought you solved a problem just to find it again. Frustrating, huh?
I wish I could find answers to all that plagues me (which isn't a great deal...just some serious things). I have spent the last 5 months and 8 days so happy I don't know what to say. I have started wondering lately is my happiness is just an illusion. I don't want it to be. It feels so great to feel what I am feeling. I just see myself at times as this eternal screw-up and I don't want to ruin all the good things that have come into my life recently. I know I am being extremely pessimistic but, I CAN'T HELP IT. I want to scream at the top of my lungs how much I am loving my life (Do people actually do that?). I wish I could fast forward through all the bad stuff God is throwing at me and not have to deal with it. I guess it is OK though. So...as I sit here writing this with a runny nose and tears falling (great picture I know)....I wish you all peace and love and ask you to focus on all the good things in your life. They are worth all of the heartache. If you ever wonder....Why am I doing this? Look into the eyes of those you love...or better yet...open your Bible....you will find your answer.

Love to all